Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Topics Addressed in These Pages

These topics will be added to, deleted, and modified at the whim of the editor. No returns, exchanges, or refunds will be accepted. (Last modified February 2014.)

ad hominem — Scurrilous slander, vile calumny, and cheap shots levelled at those among the Great and Good deserving of such treatment (i.e., most of them). A perennial favorite of our readers, and one guaranteed to continue ad infinitum, given the reliably ludicrous and pathetic behavior of said G&G.

amicus curiae — Possessing absolutely nothing whatsoever in the way of a legal education or basic knowledge of the laws and precedents of this or any other land, I nonetheless feel completely entitled to comment on any and all items concerning legal cases, courts of law, and lawyers which strike my fevered fancy. Isn't blogging wonderful?

bon mots — Memorable quotes and other tidbits authored by persons not formally employed by TED or its Cayman Islands affiliates.

filthy lucre — You wanna see me go red in the face, my ears smoke, and my teeth grind together? Then just get me started on the subject of compensation in the world of finance. Now that Aunt Millie has lost her house selling naked put options on Bear Stearns, every slimly credentialed noob and knucklehead in the Western World has an opinion on banker pay and manages to get it published in the mainstream press. I take a deep breath, calm myself, and try to inject a few facts and a little reason—along with a little of my trademark vitriol, natch—into this vexed debate. Fire-resistant gloves recommended for handling.

Folly — A catch all topic, which should be self-explanatory to anyone with more than a third grade reading level.

fourth estate — Affectionate gibes and tender pokes at the follies, pretensions, and general misdeeds of our fellow bloggers and friends among the financial press and mainstream media. Always good for a cheap laugh.

ghost in the machine — Discursions on financial bubbles, the madness of crowds, animal spirits, and other evidence that the relationship of rationality to human behavior in the business and financial spheres is tenuous, contingent, and highly suspect.

gray flannel suits — Dispatches from the bowels of Corporate America, in all its craven, sclerotic, and bombastic glory. Proven to be an effective antidote to overdoses of Fortune, BusinessWeek, and other corporate panegyrics.

Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry — So you really, really, really want to break into my industry and become an investment banker, do you? Even after reading more than one of the posts on this site? You poor, misguided fool. Well, I should know better than to try and stop you, so you might as well start here.

Kulturkampf — Mix together money, power, art, and high- and low-culture. Put in a blender on "puree." Serve chilled, with a dash of vitriol for garnish. Yum.

over there — Our intrepid reporters scour the globe for proof that countries other than the United States are also blighted with stupid, deceitful, and foolish morons cluttering the business, financial, and economic landscape. We have warehouses full of supporting evidence, which only await translation for publication.

philosophy — The occasional descent into mawkish self-regard, gratuitous pontificating, and specious sophistry you would normally expect from a website named after a long-dead Greek philosopher.

private equity — What, have you been asleep? Fail to renew your subscription to all newspapers and magazines other than Hello!? I fear this topic will continue to balloon in number of posts contributed as long as the current (May 2007) boom in PE fundraising and investment continues. After the bubble bursts, this topic should fade into justified obscurity on the dusty back shelf of the archives room, where it belongs (and where many of its practitioners would prefer it had remained). Update, March 2008: Dusty obscurity it is, but this is a topic which just keeps on giving. Keep your eyes peeled.

selling short — Shits and giggles about hedge funds and their peccadilloes, large and small. Most of these guys have more money than Henry Kravis and less time to have gotten used to it. A promising topic, from which we at TED expect a lot in the future. Timmberrr!

the agora — General bombast and ax-grinding on the behavior and nature of financial and other markets, not elsewhere classified. Getcher hot chestnuts here!

The Canon — The best of the best. Diamonds among sapphires. Pearls before swine. You get the drift.

the distaff side — A clean, well-lighted location in which rare posts on this site having to do with women are bathed in candlelight, perfume, and flowers. Mostly to do with why so few of the delightful creatures inhabit my industry, natch, but enlivened with an admixture of love, sex, and fashion. Just like Cosmo.

the leafy groves — of academe, natch. The business, finance, and other slightly distasteful practicalities of private higher education in America. From a former, current, and future paying customer.

The Life — Inside dirt on investment banking and other such whores financial service providers. Sort of like The Godfather, but with classier cufflinks.

The Panic of '08 — Armageddon. Götterdämmerung. Severely reduced spending at Upper East Side lingerie boutiques. You know: the whole ugly, sorry mess, beginning sometime in 2007 and ending ... well, ending when it's over. At this rate, you'd better stock up on Depends. You'll probably need them.

© 2007 The Epicurean Dealmaker. All rights reserved.