Ya gotta love this country:MISSOULA, Mont. (AP) — A middle school teacher suffered some bruising and a big scratch on his back after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school.
Jim Litz said he was traveling about 25 mph Monday morning when he came upon a rise and spotted a black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn't have time to stop and T-boned the bruin.
He tumbled over the handlebars, his helmet hit the bear's back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.
The bear rolled over Litz's head, cracking his helmet, and scratched his back before scampering up a hill above the road.
Litz's wife drove by shortly after the crash and took her husband to the hospital. He hoped to be able to return to teaching science at Target Range Middle School on Friday.
NEW YORK, NY (AP) — Troubled investment bank CEO Dick Fuld suffered a bruised ego and a black mark on his resume after he struck a bear while riding his limousine to work.
Mr. Fuld said he was traveling about 30 mph Wednesday morning when he came upon the intersection of Wall Street and Broad and spotted David Einhorn about 10 feet in front of him. He didn't have time to stop and T-boned the bearish investor.
He tumbled out of the limo, his Blackberry hit the activist's back and the two went cartwheeling down Wall Street.
Mr. Einhorn rolled over Fuld's briefcase, scattering his restructuring documents, and scratched his Gucci loafers before scampering into a Starbucks across the road.
Bart McDade drove by shortly after the crash and took Mr. Fuld to the Fed's Discount Window. He hoped to be able to return to scowling menacingly at creditors and rating agency executives at Lehman Brothers on Friday.
WASILLA, AK (AP) — Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin suffered some jovial ribbing and a big dent to her reputation after she struck a moose while ferrying her children to soccer practice.
Ms Palin said she was traveling about 85 mph Tuesday morning when she came upon a school crossing and spotted a sleeping moose about 10 feet in front of her. She didn't have time to stop and T-boned the herbivore.
She tumbled out of her Expedition, her AK-47 hit the moose's back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.
The moose rolled over Palin's skinning knife but escaped without a scratch before scampering down a hill into the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
John McCain drove by shortly after the crash and took Ms Palin to the taxidermist. She hoped to be able to return to field-dressing Barack Obama in Virginia on Wednesday evening.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) — Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson suffered a bruised balance sheet and a knock to his Teflon image after he struck a sour note while rescuing the federal housing agencies.
Secretary Paulson said he was spending about $200 billion Sunday evening when he came upon the wobbling GSEs and spotted a moral hazard about 10 feet in front of him. He didn't have time to stop and T-boned the metaphor.
He tumbled over the podium, his plan hit taxpayers and GSE shareholders in the pocketbook and the three went cartwheeling into uncharted territory.
The conservatorship rolled over Americans' sensibilities, undermining self-discipline, and cackled and scratched its balls before scampering down the corridor back to K Street.
Ben Bernanke drove by shortly after the crash and took Secretary Paulson to Capitol Hill. He hoped to be able to forget his stint in Washington as quickly as possible.
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