Saturday, May 5, 2007

You Know Much That Is Hidden, O Tim

Deal Journal at interrupted UBS investment banking satrap Huw Jenkins at his Supervisory Board-mandated yodeling and alpenhorn practice earlier today to discuss the Swiss chocolate maker watch manufacturer universal bank's credit policies, which have been faulted for the inability of the firm to punch as many leveraged buyout tickets as its competitors in the current deal frenzy.

The interview was apparently kept short, but a smiling Jenkins did drop a minor bombshell of sorts:
The company already has taken steps to make improvements amid widespread griping within its banker ranks, by hiring McKinsey & Co. around the end of last year. That sped up the lending process by giving more decision-making power to people within the investment bank and increasing their client-funding capacity, some inside the firm say.

McKinsey? Fuck me. That's a sorry-assed commentary on UBS's internal management capabilities when they have to ask a bunch of pencil-pushing Powerpoint witch doctors from McKinsey to tell them how to run an integrated banking and lending practice. That's what universal banks do.

No word yet as to whether McKinsey will give the UBS Credit Committee seminars on how to go to the bathroom without pissing on their shoes.

I know what Long or Short Capital would recommend: Short UBS in size. More aggressive traders can leverage their short with barrier put options on Lindt chocolate and cuckoo clocks.

© 2007 The Epicurean Dealmaker. All rights reserved.