Saturday, January 20, 2007


That's it. I'm starting a hedge fund. reports in the Wall Street Journal today that former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright is starting her own emerging markets hedge fund, Albright Capital Management. Now, I am a great admirer of Ms Albright, feisty little spark plug that she is, and I have no doubt that she pins the needle in the IQ department. But a hedge fund? Come on.

I guess she took inspiration from the actions of other prominent government officials who have recently joined the Dark Side of the Force: former Treasury Secretary (and slightly bruised Harvard Dean) Larry Summers, off to D.E. Shaw, and former Secretary of the Treasury and railroadin' man John Snow, movin' on up to Cerberus Capital. I might quibble with the implied analogy a little by noting that Messrs. Summers and Snow at least have PhDs in Economics, whereas I am ignorant of Ms Albright's economic credentials. Would I want any of them investing my kids' college funds? I don't think so.

It gives me hope, though, that I still have a chance of riding the hedge fund wave, even after the Amaranth blowup and the pathetic underperformance turned in by those supposed Masters of the Universe at Goldman Sachs' hedge fund, Global Alpha. I mean, if a Dutch pension fund can give $330 million to an untested new hedge fund co-founded by Madeleine, a few other State Department weenies, and the former head of the EPA (!), how many spondulics can I wheedle out of the naive and unsuspecting? I'm guessing gazillions, at least.

So, get ready to send in your checks and money orders ($1 million minimum), Dear Readers Investors. I'll let you know when my lawyers have drafted the documents. In the meantime, I am looking for name suggestions. It seems that all the obscure Greek and Latin mythological terms have already been taken.

How about "The TED Fund?"

1 "Descent from heaven." Before Prime Minister Koizumi banned it in 2002, high-ranking officials would often leave government service for cushy jobs in corporate Japan. In its current incarnation in the US, it just seems like the descent is a little further down. "Cerberus" indeed.

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