Sunday, December 18, 2011

Walking Song

NGC 6302
I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
In summers that have been;

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall ever see.

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen!
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.


— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring


NGC 6302 is a gaseous nebula in the constellation Scorpius which surrounds an immensely hot white dwarf star. It has one of the most complex planetary nebula structures known. The cloud is unconscionably gigantic, with lobes extending out as far as two light years (12 trillion miles) from the central star. Given that it is located approximately 3,400 light years (20.4 quadrillion miles) from Earth, it is in no conceivable way a structure which I will ever have the opportunity to visit, even if someone invented fast-as-light space travel tomorrow. Add to this the fact that the photons we see today left the nebula over three thousand years ago, and it is also true that the nebula as it exists now no longer looks like the picture above.

It is both a wonder and a sadness that we humans have developed brains which can conceive of a universe so vast as to literally be forever beyond our individual grasp. I suspect we are the only species on this planet which can not only contemplate our own individual extinction—intellectually, if not emotionally—but also conceive of a future world—happy, beautiful, alive—without our own presence. We need not turn our eyes to the stars to do so, either.

What will the world be like when winter comes without a spring that I shall ever see? What will my children and grandchildren and future generations of human beings see, and do, and experience? How I should like to see what they will see.

How I should like to see just one more spring after my last winter.


© 2011 The Epicurean Dealmaker. All rights reserved.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Miss Lonely Hearts

From time to time, O Dearly Beloved, your Faithful Correspondent receives a letter in the electronic mailbag which he decides is worthy of more general airing in these pages than a simple direct reply.

Today’s specimen wends its way to the Volcano Lair from a junior investment banker of the distaff persuasion (let us call her “Tempted”). She solicits my advice on whether a workplace dalliance with a more senior colleague, one who is already in a committed relationship, would have a detrimental or indeed even positive effect on her professional advancement. She acknowledges being attracted to said individual, finding both his attentions pleasing and his person enticing.

As this situation is quite common in my industry—and, I imagine, many others—for reasons which I outline below, I thought it might be helpful to publish herewith a lightly edited version of the reply I sent Tempted earlier today.

Dear Tempted — Speaking purely from a professional perspective, which you seem to want me to do, screwing around with this guy sounds like a really bad idea. Some random thoughts:

  1. Sleeping with a woman does not raise a man’s professional opinion of her. Ever. Unless she is a prostitute.
  2. Sex, emotions, and relationships are messy. How would you keep this quiet at your firm? Office romances get out. You won’t be able to prevent it.
  3. You say he is smart and cute, and his attentions flatter your vanity. I expect you appeal to him at least in part because he is in a position of power and authority (or at least seniority) to you. This sounds like a lousy basis for a work relationship, or indeed any sort of relationship.
  4. If your firm employs more than 100 people, it will likely have explicit guidelines about intra-office romances, especially among people who work together. Check them out. You and your colleague might be violating workplace rules by proceeding.
  5. Sleeping with a more senior banker will earn you a reputation as someone who sleeps your way to the top. This is a really shitty reputation to have, whether among men or women, especially if it is not true.
  6. You will likely get the short end of any stick in this situation. He has a permanent job and an established reputation at your company. You don’t. If push comes to shove, you are the one who is likely to get the boot.
  7. Odds are most relationships at your age don’t last. Unless both of you are truly in love—and it sure doesn’t sound that way—it will not last. How will you be able to work together in the future? Never underestimate how knowing how someone looks naked or what embarrassing little quirks they have in bed can undermine a professional working relationship.
I recommend you extract yourself gently from any real engagement with this guy. Remind him of his girlfriend, tell him you’ve met someone special, tell him you’re worried how this will affect your chances at the firm, anything. You can flirt with him—mildly—but for heaven’s sake keep your clothes on. Unless you both fall madly in love—in which case one or both of you shouldn’t care about getting new jobs elsewhere, as you will likely have to do—this is a really bad idea.

I would offer you this same confidential advice if you worked for me and came to me in person. Good luck, and be careful.

TED

* * *

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. Sex is a wonderful thing, and one of the few unalloyed perks of being human, in my opinion. If I had my druthers, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass whether all the healthy young girls and boys who work for me fucked each other like bunnies all the time they weren’t in the office. Why, I might even set up a mattress in the break room so they could sneak off for a little horizontal tango during lunch hour, just so they could work the nasty into their work schedules more efficiently.

And it is no surprise temptation is there. Throw together smart, attractive, ambitious, and energetic young men and women (or men and men, or women and women, for that matter)1 for 16 hours a day of high-pressure, high-stakes work seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. Make sure they develop an elite esprit de corps of shared suffering and accomplishment, compounded by societal envy and disapproval of what they do, and give them rare opportunities to blow off steam together in dark nightclubs and bars and the company of way too much alcohol. It’s a wonder every female investment banker under the age of 30 isn’t pregnant all the time.

But sex is messy. Sex is tangled up with all sorts of emotions, good and bad, and sex makes for a very awkward work environment. It is the rare couple who can conduct an affair at work that does not spill over into recriminations, drama, and undermining behavior, and that is just among their coworkers. In a work environment, sex fucks things up. As a boss, I won’t tolerate it. I just have too much goddamn work to do.

So keep it in your pants, boys. Keep your legs crossed, girls. At least with each other. Because if anything interferes with getting that big LBO pitch for Yahoo! done this weekend, I swear I will fucking geld you.

Related reading:
She’s Got Legs (June 11, 2011)
Thank You for Smoking (August 6, 2010)
Fingernails that Shine Like Justice (May 21, 2007)


1 Hey, whatever floats your boat. I don’t care. I would simply observe that gay men and lesbians tend to be even scarcer in my industry than straight women.

© 2011 The Epicurean Dealmaker. All rights reserved.

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Cold Companionable Streams

The trees are in their autumn beauty,
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water
Mirrors a still sky;
Upon the brimming water among the stones
Are nine-and-fifty swans.

The nineteenth autumn has come upon me
Since I first made my count;
I saw, before I had well finished,
All suddenly mount
And scatter wheeling in great broken rings
Upon their clamorous wings.

I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
And now my heart is sore.
All’s changed since I, hearing at twilight,
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
Trod with a lighter tread.

Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold
Companionable streams or climb the air;
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
Attend upon them still.

But now they drift on the still water,
Mysterious, beautiful;
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lake’s edge or pool
Delight men’s eyes when I awake some day
To find they have flown away?


— William Butler Yeats, “The Wild Swans at Coole”


Which is the more difficult duty: to leave too soon, or to stay behind, unable to follow? Stupid question, for each of us will assume both burdens soon enough, and likely much too soon.

Rest in peace, absent friends.

Live unwearied in love, joy, and passion, present ones.


© 2011 The Epicurean Dealmaker. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Holiday Interlude

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain...

— Blade Runner
(1982)

The flesh surrenders itself, he thought. Eternity takes back its own. Our bodies stirred these waters briefly, danced with a certain intoxication before the love of life and self, dealt with a few strange ideas, then submitted to the instruments of Time. What can we say of this? I occurred. I am not... yet, I occurred.

— Frank Herbert, Dune Messiah


How can we endure? How can we ensure all our moments will not be lost, like tears in the rain? Does it help to share those moments with others, to pass the baton, as it were? Perhaps. It is pretty to think so.

Here is better advice: Occur well.

Happy Thanksgiving.


© 2011 The Epicurean Dealmaker. All rights reserved.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Sovereign Triviality

Above all else, the mentat must be a generalist, not a specialist. It is wise to have decisions of great moment monitored by generalists. Experts and specialists lead you quickly into chaos. They are a source of useless nit-picking, the ferocious quibble over a comma. The mentat-generalist, on the other hand, should bring to decision-making a healthy common sense. He must not cut himself off from the broad sweep of what is happening in his universe. He must remain capable of saying: “There’s no real mystery about this at the moment. This is what we want now. It may prove wrong later, but we’ll correct that when we come to it.” The mentat-generalist must understand that anything which we can identify as our universe is merely a part of larger phenomena. But the expert looks backward; he looks into the narrow standards of his own specialty. The generalist looks outward; he looks for living principles, knowing full well that such principles change, that they develop. It is to the characteristics of change itself that the mentat-generalist must look. There can be no permanent catalogue of such change, no handbook or manual. You must look at it with as few preconceptions as possible, asking yourself: “Now what is this thing doing?”

— Frank Herbert, “The Mentat Handbook,” Children of Dune


While I do my best to suppress such realizations, Dear Readers, I have found it increasingly difficult to deny that we live in an age of Engineering and Science triumphalism. Signs abound for all to see, from technology’s relentless conquest and absorption of everyday human interaction, to the increasingly strident complaints that my own industry has hobbled the march of civilization by luring innocent youth away from test tubes and argon lasers and perverting them to the “socially useless” worship of Mammon. It is perhaps no stronger evidence that Science with a Capital S has consumed the heart of our common narrative that so many of the culturally and intellectually dispossessed have been fighting so fierce a rearguard action in denial of its most basic claims. Flat Earthers are never more strident or dangerous than when they feel their very relevance to society is threatened.

Within the mainstream conversation, however, there seems to be a general consensus that as a country we neither possess nor produce enough scientists and engineers to meet our current and projected challenges, so many of which are asserted to be scientific or technical in nature. Climate change, pollution, adequate energy, population pressures, poverty—all these and more are asserted to be in some form or fashion reducible to technical problems. Problems which, many seem to assume, can be solved if we simply graduate more scientists and engineers to fix them (and make sure they don’t go to Wall Street). Let us birth more Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerbergs, the argument goes, and all will be well.

Accompanying this narrative, of course, is a general wailing and gnashing of teeth that we devote too many resources within higher education to the teaching of the liberal arts and humanities, resources which could be better allocated to training the technicians, engineers, and scientists we really need. Now, as a fierce devotee of the liberal arts and humanities in my own right—and, in full disclosure, a graduate with a degree in a traditional “soft” social science—I am understandably partial to arguments which refute such heresy. Sadly, the few examples I have seen so far1 have done little to press what I consider the strongest arguments in favor of maintaining broad and robust humanities programs in higher education.

The weakest are of a kind: arguing the instrumentalist case that liberal arts disciplines can be functionally useful to society, either in their own right or as producers of the junior partners—translators, communicators, panegyrists, and apologists—for the scientists and engineers who do the “real” work. But this will not do. That way lies intellectual stepchildren like “Applied Philosophy” and “Science Journalism,” fine professions no doubt, but hardly compelling enough societal amanuenses to justify $200,000 bachelor degrees and ongoing taxpayer subsidies.

Writing in The Economist, Will Wilkinson supplies stronger arguments. He points out that college, for most, is now a major consumption good, which students exploit because they can. He flips Alex Tabarrok’s argument of education in the service of economic growth on its head:

What is economic growth for, anyway? It’s for expanding our choices and making life better. Is it really so surprising that, as we grow wealthier as a society, more and more of our young people, when the amazing resources of the modern university are put at their disposal, choose to use them learning something satisfying and enriching and not for anything except cherishing the rest of their lives? Is it really so surprising that taxpayers are not in revolt over the existence of poetry professors?

He also makes the more germane instrumentalist point that, as Western society gets richer, we expend more and more leisure time consuming the products of artists, writers, and other creative folk. Who else but Film Studies and Comparative Literature majors will produce these entertainments, anyway? Physicists? Mechanical Engineers? Please.

* * *

But all these counterattacks miss the three most important reasons I believe broadly available liberal arts education will remain critical to our society and polity for the indefinite future. First, there is the point which Frank Herbert makes so artistically and metaphorically in my epigraph above. As the body of scientific and technical knowledge swells exponentially, scientists and engineers by definition simply must become narrowly focused specialists. You cannot be effective as a scientist or engineer nowadays if your knowledge spans too broad a field. Our collective scientific knowledge is simply too deep. But this introduces the dilemma of the expert, who literally cannot see the forest for the trees or, more aptly, for the respirative pores on the bottom of leaf #6,972 on branch #473 of tree #1,204. Who will aggregate and balance the competing viewpoints, suggestions, and research programs of all these specialists in highly complex microdomains? Who else but someone who has been rigorously educated in the general discipline of how to think, of how to evaluate competing claims and conflicting evidence under conditions of extreme uncertainty? Who has been taught not only how to analyze and synthesize disparate, incompatible, and even conflicting data but also how to judge?2

The second point to realize is that the usual suspect scientific and technical conundrums which the techdysiasts would have us address are defined and constrained far more by their social and political dimensions than by the hard science issues at their core. Fixing climate change, poverty, or even global financial regulation is not merely a problem of finding the correct solution to a thorny technical problem. These big issues are big because they entail questions of philosophy, ideology, justice, the proper form of society, and even culture. The underlying science is almost trivial compared to the value questions at stake.3 Here, again, we find that the study of liberal arts and humanities prepares a student far better to come to grips with the thorny issues at hand than, say, one prerequisite bioethics course for a pre-med major. Do we really want to turn the keys to our global future over to a bunch of narrowly-educated, really smart, culturally and historically naive technocrats? I sure don’t. Give me someone who has read Herodotus, analyzed Shakespeare, or argued over Rawls instead.

Lastly, there is the larger issue that, for all their power and demonstrable success, science and technology simply do not, cannot, will not address a host of questions and problems which are natural to the human condition. Here is Richard Feynman:

The next reason that you might think you do not understand what I am telling you is, while I am describing to you how Nature works, you won’t understand why Nature works that way. But you see, nobody understands that. I can’t explain why Nature behaves in this peculiar way.4

But this is simply not good enough. It may be futile, unscientific, even a cognitive mistake to ask big questions about the nature of reality (the “whys”), the proper form of relations to other human beings in society, our rights and duties to ourselves and others, and the very reasons for belief in our own knowledge (including, of course, science itself), but it is natural and ineluctable. Science will never address these questions. It doesn’t have the tools. Art, social science, literature, cultural studies, history, psychology, and soft sciences like economics do. For this reason alone we cannot, must not, will not abandon them.

To do so would be to forswear the very nature of what it means to be human.

The verifiability, the falsifiability of the sciences, their triumphant progress from hypothesis to application, constitute the prestige and the increasing domination they exercise in our culture. But in another sense, these also make up their sovereign triviality. Science cannot give an answer to the quintessential questions which possess or ought to possess the human spirit. Wittgenstein noted that point insistently. It can only deny their legitimacy. To inquire about the nanosecond prior to the Big Bang is, we are didactically assured, an absurdity. Yet we are so created that we do inquire, and may find St. Augustine’s conjecture far more persuasive than that of string-theory.5

* * *

I suspect Harvard’s Philosophy Department will be able to order that new laser printer next year, after all.


Related reading:
Alex Tabarrok, College has been oversold (Marginal Revolution, November 2, 2011)
First, Let’s Shoot All the Philosophers (April 22 2011)
Mary Crane and Thomas Chiles, Why the Liberal Arts Need the Sciences (and Vice Versa) (The Chronicle, November 13, 2011)
Why we subsidise arts majors (The Economist, November 3, 2011)
Eugene Wigner, “The Unreasonable Effectiveness of Mathematics in the Natural Sciences” (February 1960; accessed November 19, 2011)


1 A sample which I freely acknowledge, for the benefit of my more scientifically inclined friends, to be neither comprehensive nor statistically significant.
2 I speak, naturally, of the best of liberal arts education. Expecting a specialist in 15th Century Catalan poetry to be able to make such judgments is heroic, at the least (but perhaps not impossible, even then). But there are many disciplines under the rubric of the humanities which teach such skills. I do not wish to oversell this point, but it is clear—at least to me—that in an age of increasing specialization, someone should be paying attention to the forest.
3 If only, we presume, because it may admit of a clear solution we all agree to. Questions of value do not.
4 Richard P. Feynman, QED: The Strange Theory of Light and Matter, Princeton, New Jersey, 1985, p. 10.
5 George Steiner, “Ten (Possible) Reasons for the Sadness of Thought”, Salmagundi, Nos. 146, Spring 2005, pp. 3–32.


© 2011 The Epicurean Dealmaker. All rights reserved.